`Tis the Season for Cheesy Dates and Family Outings

I know a handful of people who turn into Buddy the Elf as soon as the turkey is carved(Jen and mom, of you are reading this, I am looking at you). I, on the other hand, am the Grinch. However, I have found that there are some really cute date or night out ideas to help get into the holiday spirit so that you don`t ruin the fun of everyone around you. Seriously, we Grinchy folk are like a spray of cold water to the faces of the Buddy the Elf folks. There is fun to be had by all.

First stop, small bonfire with your friends, or you could make it a date night in front of the fire place with rumchata and hot chocolate(cough, cough, Jen). Throw some whipped cream on the spicy hot chocolate, turn the lights down and the Christmas lights up, and enjoy. It is a good way to get in a relaxed and jolly state.

Next stop, Christmas light dates!!! Hot chocolate and Christmas lights, and laughter. This is guaranteed to be a good time no matter what. Rhema Church in Broken Arrow has a beautiful walk through that never gets old. Downtown Tulsa also has some really pretty set ups. This could be a group of friends and family, or even date night. Woolorac has been decorated and is really pretty this year, and it also has a museum. It is beautiful without Christmas lights, so I can guarantee that it is beautiful with them. It sits 12 miles southwest of Bartlesville on HWY 123. Definitely worth checking out.

Now that we have been out and about light gazing, it is time to get extra cheesy. Matching Christmas pajamas and Christmas movies, anyone? I think this would be the way to end a family and friend outing or even a date night outing. You might even make it a December tradition. Bake some Christmas cookies and snacks, and send some quality time with your loved ones.

There is also Winterfest in Downtown Tulsa, where you can get your Grinchy laughs watching your friends and family attempt to ice skate. I would call this is a bonding experience as you compare bruises afterwards. While you are Downtown, you could check out the Tulsa PAC, they always have great Christmas shows.

The holidays are not easy for everyone, nor are they enjoyable for everyone. These are a handful of ways I have found that help me get into the Spirit and enjoy the season. Keeping busy with these things helps me to take my mind off of the not so pleasant parts of the holiday season, and enjoy it with my family and friends. Grab your own Grinch`s and go for it. It truly does wonders for them, and for you.

 

 

#Bahumbug #Grinch #BuddytheElf #Christmas #Christmasseason #Tulsa #Datenight #Familynight

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Forgiveness

This past few years has been really crazy. The kind of times when you see light at the end of the tunnel and can`t decide if you hope its a freight train coming at ya, or actually the end of the dark. I have basically rode it in waves. Some days I am like Beyonce and other days I am more like Taylor Swift that one year when Kanye stole her thunder. I have tried so hard to be “okay”, that I forgot to stop and process what was actually happening to me, and around me.

Finally, about two months or so ago, all of the bad stuff caught up to me and crushed me like one of those rogue waves you read about that crush cruise liners. I felt like I was drowning. I realized it was time to unpack all of those bad things in my mind and heart. I started unpacking and realized that I had been carrying around a couple of thousand pounds worth of stuff. I also learned that I am a people pleaser like no ones business, and I try to live according to everyone else to the point that I didn`t feel like I fit anywhere.

I learned that when I stray too far from my church family, and I stop praying or reading my bible, THAT is when it takes me down. I also learned that forgiveness is a choice and not a feeling. It means learning that it doesn`t matter if you get even, or do better than who hurt you. It doesn`t matter if you ever see them get “justice” for the wrongs that were done to you. It also isn`t even about the ones who did you wrong. They don`t even have to know you forgave them. Forgiveness is about you. It cancels that debt or wrong. It releases you from the weight and hurt. It is a choice that sets you free. That doesn`t make it easy, but it is necessary for healing.  I promise you, when you decide to forgive you will literally feel the weight being removed from your shoulders. It is so worth it, and I wish I had done it sooner.

The other thing I learned is that comparison is a silent killer. I am learning to not care where other people are who are the same age, or whatever. I am right where I am supposed to be. All that matters is that I am living and loving and achieving and raising beautiful humans. There is so much more to life than what you are achieving, and what you have.  There are experiences and feelings and adventures to have. It doesn`t matter where everyone else is. It matters where you are. If you happen to not like where you are, YOU have to be your own catalyst for change. Just remember that it does not matter how long the process of change, you will never get to the end if you don`t get started. Enjoy the journey, there is always something to learn.

 

#forgive #movingforward #letitgo #forrealelsa #onward

Apologizing to my Children

Kids. They can test limits like no ones business. I know mine have the ability to take me from a sane and rational human being to a raging psychopath in about 2 seconds flat. It`s really quite amazing. I don`t think we really have a concept of patience until we have children and then we realize it is, in fact, a virtue. Sometimes it`s more of a leprechaun riding a unicorn down a rainbow to a pot of gold, and other days I seem to have limitless amounts of it.

I think something I am learning is that these are bonding as well as teaching moments. I won`t lie. I have yelled at my children. Lost my patience, got frustrated, and snapped at them. I can see the hurt on their faces every time, and these moments carry more guilt than they will ever know. I feel horrible for these moments. Like I must be the worst mom in the whole world. There are even times I have questioned if I am even capable of being a mom. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I fall short of all the Pinterest and Facebook moms. As though I am never doing enough, or well enough.

But then I remember Mason`s face when he saw me standing in his school hallway, waiting to see the program he had worked so hard on. Or I remember this morning when I was waking him up for school, and the first thing he said for the day was “I love you, mom”. Or how excited Zoey gets when I come home from work. The way she wants to snuggle me at night, or when they are both asking me to say prayers at bedtime, or read just one more story(yeah, right. More like three more). They think I am the best, even when I have moments of weakness. They know they are loved.

This morning was one of those rough mornings where I lost my patience with Mason, who was taking longer to eat his two vitamin gummies than it takes a sloth to cross the road during rush hour. I was trying to finish getting him ready, get his lunch and backpack together, his sister out of bed and to the car, and he was over there acing like he was chewing glass. I lost my cool. It upset him, and I hate to start the day that way.

I decided to let it cool off, and then when we got out of the car I at school, I knelt down to his eye level, and I apologized. He looked shocked, but he loosened up. I told him I was sorry that I lost my patience, and that I want him to know that I am proud of him and that I love him. I asked him what we could do differently tomorrow, to get the vitamins down better, and for a smoother routine. He walked into school smiling. I think it was a moment where I got to show him that it is okay to get frustrated and be human, but you still need to own your actions. Make it right if you made a wrong. Then do better.

I think apologizing to them when I mess up teaches them something valuable and I think that it opens up a conversation that will give them a voice, and maybe as they grow they will be less likely to lose their cool because they know how to communicate when things aren`t working, or flowing, or frustrating them. The one thing I hope he learned is that it`s okay to have a bad moment, but you can`t stay there, and apologies soothe the burn of harsh words or actions. I hope he saw his mom as a person who was doing her very best, and even though she messes up, she doesn`t quit.

Apologizing to them let`s them know that you care, and that you value their feelings. It allows them to vent right back to you, instead of holding onto hurt and anger. I think that is my take away. I want to raise kind children who own their actions and words. I want to raise children who admit when they are wrong, and learn from mistakes. I think this is a good starting place.

 

#Children #patience #human #tootired #unicornsandleprechauns #whereisthecoffee

Still Alive-At Work

It would be an understatement to say that I like my job. I love my job. I worked hard to hold the license that allows me to have my job. I work in a field that works long, crazy hours. EMS is unpredictable, often short staffed, and the pay isn’t anything to write home about. So folks in this field often hold more than one job, or they pick up all the hours that they can. It isn’t a field for the weak, that much is true. I am a single mom of two children, and I have to pay those bills somehow, and I like what I do so working long hours is good for me.

It does take a toll on my family, friends, and volunteer efforts. I am currently on a 96 hour shift, which means I won’t even see my home for 4 days. That is a long time to be away from home. It makes my time at home seem so much more valuable so it can be hard to get me out once I am there. I am also tired the first day or two that I am home after a shift. Even though I work at a slower station, no one sleeps well in the work bed, with dispatch and other units talking through out the night. Not to mention the constant tension of waiting for tones to drop, so that you can be ready and en route to your call in less than 2 minutes. It can wear on you. There are bases or stations were sleep is a magical myth, like a unicorn.

I think that people often think that I work two or three days a week and should have more free time than I do, and wonder why I do not want to hang out. The reason for that is because I had to GPS myself to my own house, I am not sure what day it is, I probably need a shower, I need to unpack, and I need a minute to breathe now that I am not awaiting those tones any longer. Or I ran a stressful call and I need time to decompress. Or as a single mom, maybe I had to work a shift that overlapped with my shared custody and I just need to be at home with my kids.

I know working a few days a week sounds good to most people, but try to imagine working 24 or 48 hours straight. You don’t go home at 8 or 10 hours. It can be rough. I promise you that I haven’t forgotten you, family and friends. I feel guilty more than you know about not being there enough for you. I know you miss me, and I miss you. I have good intentions about catching up and being there, and somehow I always end up off track. I think it is the price that is paid for choosing to be a public servant. All I ask is that you try to have patience with me, and know that I do love you, value our relationship, and I do care.

I have a great passion for emergency medicine. I firmly believe that it is a part of who I am, and I can’t change that. I do try to know when to back down and be there for my friends and family. I also know that I need the hours I can get, and a short staffed station means 1 less crew to respond to someones emergency, and that bothers me. Having any type of relationship with me is always going to require a level of understanding of my drive and career choices. But that doesn’t mean you need to be afraid to tell me that you need me! I still want to be there.

I hope the take away is that people who love someone in EMS/Fire, Medicine, or Police can have a little more understanding and patience with us. We have hearts to serve and help, and we can’t shut that off. So just know that your people are still alive and they do care. We are still here. We just have a duty to serve and sometimes we need to be reminded that you need us too. It may mean you need to come to me, and you might want to bring coffee (key to my heart), but I want to hear about your life and still be a part of it. Long hours are a given in this field, and I am sorry to all of my friends and family.  I swear I am not a figment of your imagination, and I want you to know that I am working on it.

Mac Attack..The Best Labrador

Mac. Mac Attack. Macky. She has a whole host of names, depending on her antics. We got her when she was a chubby little eight week old mess. I picked her out of the box full of chubby lab puppies. She was the most adventurous. She nosed her way right up into my business. She was so curious and unafraid of me. I decided she was the one, and off we went. Her first night home was so easy, I couldn’t believe it. She made fast friends with Zoey, and picked up on the routine at home so fast. She just fit right in. 

Her puppy days were a lot of fun. She loves her kids, and she absolutely loves to play. Swimming is definitely a favorite past time. She is very intelligent and trained rather quickly. Our little chub is food motivated, for sure. Offer her treats and I am convinced there is nothing she wouldn’t do. Or just get Zoey to ask her to do something, that is her her person. She and Zoey are a handful together. Mac was about four months old when I caught her sitting next to Zoey under the table, and they were both shredding rolls of paper towels. Partners in crime, right there. 

She is like one of the kids, and being with those kids is one her absolute favorite things. Every kid needs a dog, and every dog needs a kid. I think everyone needs a dog. Mac joined our family right before my divorce. I honestly think she was part of the reason why I got through it, and I think she was great for the kids during that time. Mac was a constant during those times. A funny distraction from the bad stuff happening and all of the change. She knows when you need a hug, or just a wet nose in your business to remind you that life isn’t over. She is a wonderful listener at three in the morning when you can’t cry anymore, and she knows how to fill an empty space in a bed. 

Mac has taught me so much about life in the year and a half that she has been my fur kid. She doesn’t always get the attention she deserves, nor the life she deserves. Yet she greets me every single day like I am the best thing she has ever seen. She is forgiving on the days that I suck as a dog parent, or the kids do something crazy to her. Like cover her in lotion after her bath, thank you Zoey. She has gotten the short end of the stick in the aftermath of divorce, but she was still there for the kids and I in more ways than I realized at the time. We do not deserve dogs, of that I am certain.

A dog will love you more than they love themselves, and they are so valuable to families. Mac is a part of coming home, for my kids. They know she will be here when they get here, and she knows when they are gone. She was my greatest and closest friend on some of those long, cold nights after the divorce. She is still there for me today, on the bad days. She is so intuitive. And she loves her family. Of that I have no doubts. She wouldn’t let anyone hurt us, and she does all that she can to make the kids laugh. 

I hope you have a dog. I hope your kids have a dog. A home without a dog isn’t a home, to me. A home without Mac in it, seems so unrealistic. She is big, she is hyper, she can be quite difficult, but she has given so much more than we could have asked for. She has given so much more than I ever thought she would when I saw her wiggling her chubby butt that Saturday morning in a Reasor’s parking lot. There really aren’t words to describe her value. I think if Mac had never come along, Mason never would have gotten over his fear of dogs after being bitten by a German Shepard. Mac helped that anxiety, of that I am sure. She is very much a part of the family, and a valuable one at that. The crazy part? I don’t think she knows it. She is just so happy to be here, and that in and of itself is a life lesson. She is happy as long as she has food, and her people. Her family. That is really all you need, everything else is an adventure awaiting. That is what Mac has taught me. To live and to try not to lose the excitement of what waits around the corner, and that in the end it is the little things that matter most.

She has taught me a lot about forgiveness, and second chances. She has taught me patience, and she has taught me the value of being a good friend. She is simply the greatest Labrador Retriever to live, and I thought you needed to know a little about her, and the value of a fur kid in your home.

Fall Date Ideas

It is no lie that fall is my favorite season!!! I love warm drinks, crunchy leaves, warm sweaters, crisp air, the colors….I just LOVE fall. I think it is by far the best season. I love that little chill in the air and how visible the season change is. With it being my favorite season, I also think the energy is just right for some really cuddly and fun dates.

Living in Tulsa, one of my favorite date night ideas is going downtown when the weather is just right (AAAUUUTTTUUUMMMNNN) and walking the downtown square. It really is a beautiful city, with plenty of places to grab a coffee and lots of hole in the wall places to explore. It is like a fun little adventure and there are some really neat places to park it, sip coffee, and have a nice conversation with your partner while listening to the city and enjoying the fall air.

Tulsa also has some low resistance hiking trails. My personal favorite is just outside Tulsa, in Catoosa. It is called Red Bud Valley. It is beautiful in all seasons, but I think it is best in the fall. It has some really neat stopping points, and a neat little information booth where you can learn about what lives there and the plants and things. It would be a great place for a short fall hike.

Another of my favorite fall date ideas, is a small fire right in the backyard! This idea can go so many ways. You can have some drinks and cuddle by the fire. OR you can make smores! Either way it’ll be fun and I think this a favorite fall activity for many. Why not turn it into quality time? A great budget date in the backyard in the fall is a small string of white lights, some blankets and your favorite snack and a bottle of wine. I have strung white lights over my patio and had dinner with candles and the lighting and all air was perfect.

Fall is also the time of year for pumpkin patches, spook houses, and hay rides. All of these things make neat and different date ideas. One of my favorite things is visiting the pumpkin patch and taking home a pumpkin to decorate and bake the seeds. Not to mention the Tulsa PAC usually has a great selection of seasonal things going on, and I think it makes for a great seasonal date. Tulsa also has a wide variety of “roof top eateries and bars” that would be excellent for a crisp fall night. The Mayo Hotel, El Guapo’s Cantina, The Vault, and  The Rooftop BA, are just a few places that feature outdoor patios that will give you a chance to enjoy the fall air and give an excellent view of the city.

These are some of my favorite fall date night ideas. Some of these even work for family nights as well, which I think is great! I am looking forward to fall and I hope you guys can try some of these and find what your city has to offer!

 

#fall #falldates #tulsa #downtowntulsa #pac #themayo #rooftopba #redbudvalley #hiking #dating #seasonal

10 Things I bet you didn’t know about me

I can be a rather private creature. So I thought I would share ten things about me you probably did not know. Don’t judge me, okay? Some people are just weird.

1. I am afraid of dogs.
2. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a kid.
3. I am a hopeless, closet romantic.
4. I have a major shark obsession. Seriously.
5. I am addicted to orange spice tea.
6. My dream car is a 1969 Shelby GT500.
7. I played softball for 13 years, and was a catcher.
8. If I ever hit the lottery, I would create a place for the homeless to shower.
9. I once planned to own a horse ranch.
10. I don’t care for sweets all that much.

Despite being a lover of animals, I have always been a little afraid of dogs that I don’t know. They make me nervous and even though I know you should not run, guess what I will do? That is right. RUN. I don’t even like little dogs I don’t know. It is just a strange fear of mine. People are usually surprised by this.

I wanted to be a veterinarian. I was about five when I decided this. I stuck to that plan until I was about twelve and found out how long I would have to go to college. I have always been a big lover of animals. Most animals. I do not care for most reptiles, and I hate snakes. Deathly afraid of snakes and lizards, so I finally abandoned this idea. I hate for anything to suffer, people or animals, and I wanted to help them.

I talk a pretty big game about how dumb romance is and how I don’t care. Secretly, I am the worlds biggest Nicholas Sparks fan. I love a good love story with a happy ending, and I like a little romance in my life. Flowers, sweet notes, whatever. I enjoy it. I will continue to pretend that I do not care, though. My mom doesn’t even know that I had my wedding planned out since I was like seven.

My favorite animal is most definitely a shark. I am in awe of how amazing they are. I want to be in the water with them and learn up close. I love sharks! They are very misunderstood creatures, and the more you learn about them, the more fascinating they become. I mean the only predator a shark has to fear is an Orca whale. How crazy is that?

I have to have my Orange spice tea in order to sleep at night. I go without it in certain situations, but it really is a necessary part of my bedtime routine. It tastes amazing, and the warm, spicy tea makes me feel relaxed. Coffee in the morning and tea at bedtime. It makes my brain aware that it is wind down time. I also have a favorite mug type, and I think that is just as much part of my routine as the tea.

I  have a love for Ford Mustang. I wanted a Mustang GT as my first car. I got bitten by the Mustang bug when I was visiting family in Lake Charles, Louisiana. My dad and I had ran to the store and I caught a glimpse of a baby Blue Mach 1. I had to go look. The owner was a really nice young lady who let me check it out. I fell in love. I now have a cherry red 2007 GT, and her name is Rosa. My dream car though, is the 1969 Shelby GT500. That is a beautiful car and those horses can really run! There is nothing like gasoline, leather, a good radio station, and open highway. It is therapy for the soul.

I played softball for 13 years!!! I was a catcher. I lived and breathed softball for years. I thoroughly enjoyed the sport. I have to thank my parents for the money and time spent. Those were some of my favorite years. I have shot knees now, though. I wouldn’t trade it though. I enjoyed the challenge of being a catcher.

I have a very real soft spot for the homeless community. I also think that every person on earth should have access to the basics needed to thrive in life. No one should be hungry, and everyone should have a place to shower. If I ever hit the lottery, I would use the money to build a shower complex. Where people who needed a place to shower could come and take a hot shower with decent soap. I think it is wrong that there are people in the world who don’t have access to such basic things.

Growing up, I had a huge love of horses. I had this plan to move to Montana and build my own horse ranch. I enjoy hard work and livestock, and I like living in the country. I really thought I would pull this off. Now? Please don’t take me away from my QT and Starbucks. I am way too used to my city life, and I lost the desire to care for livestock. I still love horses though, and would love to visit Montana.

Every once in awhile, I will crave something sweet. I never have had much a sweet tooth. My favorite dessert is Tiramisu. I just never have really craved sweets. I actually tend to crave things like fresh salads, and dried fruits. I could live on nuts and trail mix. AND GRANOLA. Especially granola and peanut butter. My snack choices are weird. My mom calls it rabbit food.

Well, there is a few things you may not have known about me! I am a little different, but I think it is fun to learn about all the ways people are different.

 

 

Save Yourself from Negativity

This next few weeks, my church(life.church/owasso)is covering a series called Mastermind. The first week was really great! It is all about the power of our thoughts shaping our lives. This is a topic I have thought about and discussed with people close to me many, many times. It is also something I have struggled with at different times in my life. It can also be a sensitive topic to some, and there will always be people who will raise arguments, but you have to see the heart of the message.

I get it. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Some of those bad things are brought on by circumstance, some by decisions, some for no reason at all. I will not sit here and pretend that I understand why bad things happen to good people, because I haven’t a clue.  I wish I did. I also understand that some folks suffer from mental illness that makes even getting out of bed hard. So thinking positive isn’t always easy. For those folks, I just want them to know that right now it is hard. But I am proud of them for each little baby step they accomplish.

Negative thoughts lead to a negative life. I firmly believe that to be true. You could have everything you ever wanted, but you will never be happy in that negativity trap. I am a firm believer that learning to be content will make the choice of happiness much easier. Happiness is a choice. If you are choosing to see everything in a negative light, how will you ever find the good in anything? If your reaction to everything that happens in your day to day is negative, how will you ever have a positive outcome?

This always makes me think of “living with intention”. Wake up and DECIDE that this is going to be good day. Sure, not so great things can still happen during the day but that does not have to wreck the whole day. If the not so good thing that happened won’t matter in five years, do not give it more than five minutes of your time. Be like a duck with water and let it roll right off your feathers. Keep chugging through your day, and make it a good day.

If your circumstances aren’t the greatest, be looking for a solution, or a way to make it better. What you can’t do is fall into the ‘woe is me” pattern and wallow in it. Everything passes. Some things pass like kidney stones, others pass like the breeze. If you are so hung up on how bad things seem or how your plans did not work out this time, you may miss the directions down the road to better.

I once treated every road block like the end of the road. All I ended up doing is becoming miserable with my life, and I did not accomplish much. Then someone told me to shift my paradigm and treat those road blocks like hurdles I had to train to jump over and to get out of this negative mind set. To start thinking more positively. At first it was hard. It started with the only things I could think of as positive being the fact that I woke up today and my family. I started making lists of things that were positive in my life. The more I worked those muscles and angles the stronger they got. I still have bad days, but I think I am leaps and bounds ahead of what I once was. I know that I am a lot happier and things seem to be working out even if it isn’t always according to plan.

Your thoughts drive your life. What you think, you manifest. What can you change? Do you think the power of your thoughts can change all that much in your life?                                     

 

Breaking Up and Letting Go

Maybe it is because I am divorced, and have been on both sides of the breakup wall, but I have a different outlook on relationships. I have been noticing a growing trend in people making a break up out to be this horrible, terrible thing. While I realize that break ups are never easy, and are often painful, they offer an opportunity for growth. They offer an opportunity to learn about yourself, and what you do and don`t want. It offers you a oppurtunity to see yourself in a different light and improve on things if you need too.

Going through my divorce was one of the most painful experiences I have ever had. I didn`t realize it right away, but I learned a lot about myself. I mean I probably learned more about myself going through that and starting to heal through that experience than I have anything else(save motherhood). I had taken a really long look in the mirror, and I am here to tell you that is an extremely hard and painful thing to do. But I did it, and I did not always like what I saw. I saw someone who could be very abrasive, cruel, hateful, and insensitive. I saw someone who got tunnel vision for personal goals, and I saw someone who wasn`t good at reading love languages, and frankly did not even try.

It was not all bad, though. I also learned that I am incredibly strong. I am capable of so much more than I even realized. I learned about what I did and did not want, and I am getting better every day since my marriage ended about saying no to things I don`t want. I know exactly what I want out of a relationship, and I know exactly how to slow it down if it is happening too fast for me. I learned to stop sacrificing myself and my goals. Healthy relationships will not ever ask you to give yourself away like that. It is give and take, no give and give some more.

I also learned how to let go when something or someone wasn`t for me. Letting go can be so damned difficult that it feels impossible and unfortunately no matter how much you love someone, that does not mean they are for you. Love can blind you to how much a person, place, or thing does not fit you. Let it go and rest assured that something better suited is coming your way. Letting go is just a part of life, learn to do it with dignity and grace.

Now, I know people leaving is a painful experience. However, people are allowed to do that. They are allowed to decide that they want out of the relationship and they are allowed to move on. You can try to ask them to stay, but let me ask you a serious question. Why do you want to try to keep someone who wants to go? I realize that sometimes things can be worked out. I get that. What I don`t get is deciding that someone did not love you or care for you, because they have decided that it is not working out for them. It doesn`t necessarily mean they did not love you, or value you. And it doesn`t mean they are going to regret moving on. That isn`t to say that you aren`t worth more than a million dollars, or that you weren`t worth their effort. Let people go with out making it ugly.

I realize that everyone’s situation is different, and that emotional situations are hard to process. Yet, things change and people change. Consider it a blessing that you got to love someone and be loved back. Even if it wasn’t your happily ever after. Don’t make something that is just a part of life and love some sort of war. You don’t have to constantly fight for love to stay, you shouldn’t argue more than you laugh or hug. You shouldn’t feel devalued or pushed to the side. If you can’t communicate your issues, and work them out, then they aren’t for you. Let it go. 

At the end of the day, love is hard. Relationships are hard. Marriage? One of the hardest things you will ever do. So put in the work, but know when it isn’t for you. Know when to let go. And if someone wants to go? Let them. You can’t make decisions for people. The only thing you can control is your reaction to them. You are allowed to leave. They are allowed to leave. I know it hurts, but trust me. I am speaking from experience here. Let them go, take time to reflect and heal. Take time to process. Cry, scream, journal, have a drink. But keep your dignity, and realize that letting go is a part of life and you never know what is just beyond the bend.

 

#lifelessons #lettinggo #healing #maturing #growing #relationships #br

Bad Mom Days

I think we can all agree that parenting is crazy hard. There are days that feel like nothing that you do is right, and you go to bed wondering what their future will hold if you can not get it together as a mom. You worry and you worry about your own ability to do this job. You feel like you are failing your children. And I do not know about you, but I know when I watch mine struggle with behaviors and big emotions and I can`t seem to help them get it under control, I feel like I am failing them and I can`t stand to see them struggle.

Some days it just feels like nothing is going according to plan, and you can`t get anything done. You are tired, you are stressed, you need a break. I think all mamas know what this feels like. I have met this in waves over the last year or so, with it coming to a head in recent months. I felt like my ability to be a good mother was at the lowest it had ever been. I hit my knees in prayer, and I sought out the advice of my own mama because when in need you find a professional. She is most definitely that. With hard work and lots of stress and tears, we are on our way to repairing our relationship and getting my wild kiddos back in shape.

The whole point here is to remind mamas out there that you can love your babies through anything. It is okay for the house to be a mess, and the laundry to undone, and the kids to have their melt down or their moment. Matter of fact, it is okay for you to have a melt down too. It is okay for you to cry and it is most definitely okay to need a break or a hand. Not everyday is going to be perfect. What is perfect is the love you share with your children. No matter how bad the day is, always know that you are not the only mama out there who doesn`t feel like she is getting it right.

If you are going to bed worrying about how you are doing as a mom, then you care. Caring makes the difference. Just know that these moments are fleeting, and your work is so important. You will get through this day, and the day after that. No matter how bad the day is, the snuggles, the laughs, the hugs, the progress and success, the victories, the being there when it matters most is what makes this journey so worth it. Your assignment is a long one mama, and a hard one. Don`t be so hard on yourself and don`t forget to enjoy those little moments you get because you won`t get them forever. You are doing a great job.

 

#motherhood #struggles #momlifeishard #toddlerterror #littlepeoplebigfeelings